You Know You're an Australian if.....

OK....my good Aussie friend sent me this in response to the 'You know if you're a Kiwi' article I posted a month ago....and seeing as I am both Kiwi AND Ausssie, she felt it only fair that I add this. But to be honest....ummm....I don't get it!! So I guess I should say, Thanks for the Lesson!! (wink) (The little comments at the end are mine for clarification..hehe)

You know you're Australian if....

You know the meaning of 'girt' ....translation please????

You believe that stubbies can either be worn or drunk ...ok, my Dad told me that one!

You think it is normal to have a Prime Minister called Kevin ....really??

You waddle when you walk due to the 53 expired petrol discount vouchers stuffed in your wallet or purse ...ok, done that!

You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden ....hahaaha....umm..what's a bong?????

When you hear that an American 'roots for his team' you wonder how often and with whom ....?? right.

You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds .....got it.

You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin' ...actually, I say 'mul bun'

You pronounce Penrith as 'Pen-riff'

You believe the 'L' in the word 'Australia' is optional .....it seems you do!

You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas' ...The only word I understand of that sentence is 'maccas'..and I thought my cousin Carolyn made that one up herself!

You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep ...actually, we are the same! but more like, beer bottles, cows and sheep

You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard' ...good to know! I feel much better now.

You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place ...not

You believe is makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin .....yeah! go figure!!!

You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy' ....really? why not?

You believe that cooked-down axlegrease makes a good breakfast spread ..??

You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis ...yeah....and Neil Finn IS a Kiwi by the way!!!!

You know, whatever the tourist books say, that no one says 'cobber' ..whats a cobber?

You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again'

You believe, as an article of faith, that the confectionary known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year ...Oh, I had a wagon wheel..I know that one!

You still don't get why the 'Labor' in 'Australian Labor Party' is not spelt with a 'u'

You wear ugh boots outside the house ....I have a cousin who does that!! You know who you are!! hahaha

You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more
you like them ...true. Thanks B for sending this! hehe

Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language ....haha...Carolyn, you will have no trouble here then! lol

You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, while 'scuse me' is alway polite ...hehee

You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose ....look forward to that one....

You understand that 'you' has a plural and that it's 'youse' ....typical!

You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle ...or the seat burns your bum.

You biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules of beach cricket ...ok, that goes for our family too!

You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies' ...you mean they actually try to sell them????

You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours' ...totally!! What else does she do???

When returning home from overseas, you expect to be brutally strip-searched by Customs - just in case you're trying to sneak in fruit ....too right!

You believe the phrase 'smart casual' refers to a pair of black tracky-daks, suitably laundered ..at least MY family does....shame.....

You understand that all train timetables are works of fiction ...haha...tell my Dad that...he still rings them to tell them it's wrong!! hahahaa

When working at a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer and excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer ....classic!

You get choked up with emotion by the first verse of the national anthem and then have trouble remembering the second ...actually..that is TRUE! Except..I don't know the first one either.

You find yourself ignorant of nearly all the facts deemed essential in the government's new test for migrants

You will immediately forward this list to other Australian, here and overseas, realising that only they will understand!! ...Good luck!